minding my own business!

do you have ANY idea how hard this is? oh yes, I'm sure you do:-)

thing is, takin' a look around me, I see my lovely grapefruit plant Gary - he blithely soaks up the sun and goes about his daily growing chores with nary a glance around the room to see that less fortunate sunflower seeds have fallen to the wayside...nay, Paw Lee trots about on his quarterly checking of the the perimeters without a thought as to whether Princess Phat is about doing her mouse hunting...the world at large teaches us that if we actually DO mind our own business and quit worrying about everyone else's things will not only keep going, but with much more ease and less havoc!

thus. today my declaration is that I will do my best to mind my own business TODAY...

HOME AGAIN!!!!!

FIRST of all, I'd like to thank Gabrielle at http://music-and-the-lyrics-of-life.blogspot.com/ for the nice award she gave me...I saved it to my travel laptop and this is my home laptop so I can't find it BUT in her honor:-)

Musical cupcakes!

Well this whole last week has been the ever elusive week of learning and rediscovery and delicious relaxation and a meeting.

We (my brother and I) left for southern Oregon first stopping in PDX to see the grandbabies. The drive down was just full of stunning scenery and raucous laughter.

A lot of you know the story, I was adopted into a family there at the age of 4 and so on and so forth but let's just say visits to this town have always been met with some trepidations and a lot of aching memories.

FINALLY the end! My sister emailed me when she heard I was going to be there and asked if we were going to be able to go down there for a visit. I asked my brother and he said yeah, we could...

Monday after first attending a meeting off we went:

My childhood home was just as I remembered it and it was just so warming to bring my brother, significant of my new and joyous life to see those things of my childhood that were GOOD things...

this is the back yard

this is the black walnut in our back yard

my sister's dog Lucy

my sister made us some berry  cobbler from berries picked at our home and HOMEMADE ICE CREAM

going to keep the good memories from this home....

afterwards we went to the beach:-) this beach has a nickname I gave it once during the 70's and apparently that name still holds... I didn't know my brother took this picture but as I was watching this young boy play in the water I wanted SO BAD to get in too!!!!

so I DID!!!!

an unforgettable day...

worth a thousand words...

I JUST REALLY WANT TO TAKE A NAP TODAY!!!!!

Pro CHOICE

ahaha I chuckle at the title of today's post - why? I have personal beliefs on this and for what it's worth they're nothing to DO with have or do not have an abortion - BUT

Today is one of those days when all of the sad things seem to pile up at your door and burst through like so many dirty clothes you should have washed over the weekend...know what I mean? Nothing concrete, just a thought here, a look there, a missed phone call and perhaps that text from your daughter you were excited to see but when you opened there was nothing more than "could you send me some money." So I did, I'll admit it right here and now, I started to sit back into the comfortable hollow of ill-feelings and sad stories...I took along for my drink a bitter cup of forgotten woes and hot scalding memories...as I melted into this overstuffed, over-rated feast of fetid fetters the thought, tiny and ringing just lightly like a fairy bell in a thunderstorm "you have a choice." I sat up...

WHAT?

YOU HAVE A CHOICE - louder I heard it and ohhhhhh okayyyyy...

At that opportune moment my good friends and coworkers brought to me a much better beverage - Passion Tea

Appropos isn't it? Passion Tea at the very moment I was sinking into the apathetic womb? THANK YOU MY FRIENDS!!!!

Next an email from my "older sister" across the way...she asked me the simplest question and then she ended with "or would you like me to bring them to you my little sister chickadee??"

now THAT brought the smile back to my face - aha! someone DOES value my existence!

and so the choice was made: TODAY IS A GOOD DAY...the world is a shining beacon of hope for amazingness to happen...

I hope you have a good day TOO!

a relaxing weekend

it's been a good weekend...there was a pow wow at our little casino but neither one of us could really get in the mood and that's **different**...

I've been making a belt bag for my niece, here's the deal - I was given a basket of yarns and hooks when one of my cousins (sisters) passed on; when the giveaway happened my sister W brought it over and dropped it in my lap with a big smile. I asked what's this and she said "YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MAKES STUFF!" So there it is...

The bag  you see to your left is crocheted from some of that yarn...it's actually not yarn, it's some kind of like doily thread or something...I don't do doilies, so this was the next best thing. This is worn on the belt when dressed in wingdress; I always put beads and jingles on my gifts, just can't seem to help it...this one will make a nice ringing sound as the one who wears it dances in the longhouse...

It's yellow to depict what we call "the Light" something we sing for and work towards in our daily lives; I dont't think I can say TOO much here because these are our traditional ways passed down from our grandmas...the fringe is done in reds-to yellow and to me this is to help my niece with power for strength and healing and wisdom. There are twelve fringes - these are twelve songs...in one of our services we do one set of twelve songs...in others we do three sets of seven...

a note about the dancing: we call it dancing, it's also called "jump dancing" and/or "jumping" but the bottom line is, the meaning of it and what makes it so awesome to ME is that it's symbolic of "beating down a path for your way." Older women don't dance, we kind of walk along in rhythm to the music but this Sunday my brother and I went to the longhouse - I was first in line when we went out to dance (the cooks often go out on the last three song)...I noticed with a smile that even though we were ALL walking our footsteps made a beautiful pattern in the "wash" (another day we'll talk about that). Another note on being first in the line...smile...this meant I was the oldest one in the kitchen on Sunday.

In this picture, another niece opens cans of appleasauce for Sunday dinner. She's a hard worker and has learned so quickly.

She always greets me with a hug and just seeing her makes me light up.

Here's the other bag I've been working on for OH so long. it's woven and will be worn with a traditional regalia set - it's woven for an older friend of mine - I used the multi-color "mountains" because of her years I know she's seen many ups and downs. I used the vine at the bottom to signify there is always growth happening and she is always green and beautiful...there are other meanings but they are more personal and I won't share them here. My brother helped by doing the fringing and finish work.

It was a very relaxing and weekend

stickgames and cast-off queen's shoes...

Friday (June 11) was a holiday - oh, the banks didn't close, no fanfare or marching bands but for those in MY world, it was a day to observe our 1855 Treaty signing...I've read the "Treaty Minutes" I wish you could but the hours and long long hours of discussion were capsulated in a five page document. I'm utterly astounded at the forward thinking albeit simplistically expressed processes of my great greats. They pondered the future and drew from the past.

At any rate, our holiday was for this reason...we had made plans to head to the Big City of Bright Lights and Glorious Smells (Portland as told by Bella Donna, my son's dog) but as discussion went we found ourselves hankering more for some egregious stickgaming rather than washing ourselves in the fount of nefarious fun...

Before we actually take off I should give you a short run down of what went on between Princess Phat and Paw Lee Wawg...Paw Lee: "they're getting ready to get into The Go" Princess, "I'm hungry, hey there's that one bird, they're doing WHAT? NOOOOOOOOO" Paw Lee: "I told you and this time they're NEVER coming back" Princess "NOOOOOOOOOOO sniff sniff" Paw Lee "ahhh I was just jokin, quitcher cryin'" Princess: "anyways, that bird was tellin me that sometimes she sees them millions of miles away almost to the stars (of COURSE the bird sees further than the dogs)...Paw Lee (sulking) "well, they are. look, now they're putting those ONE things into the go (our chairs) and then they're going to start singing (silly dogs don't know it's not US when the car turns on and the radio starts)...Off to White Swan!

These flowers were outside a little asian restaurant we ate at on the way...they were just BEGGING to have their picture taken! So of course, I obliged.

...here it is almost a MONTH later and I found this draft - the reason I want to finish it is this: we went to the stickgames, sang some AWESOME songs, learned a new power song from Shalaya (I put her name in because it's just so beautiful) and had a grand time.

The day after we stickgamed, we went to town to do what my brother called "ol' ladyin'" which means browsing through thrift stores and stopping by the occasional garage sale. During this particular day I stumbled across what must have been an actual Drag Queen Shoe Heaven...glorious sparkly mega heels in size 15 - they were awesome in their brilliance and splendor, I imagined a lovely tall Queen gracefully sweeping into the club on them - ohhhhh what FUNNNNN!

Okay the rest of the story is dim I just wanted to share that part.

dance of survival

i love being an Indian woman...
within  me rings the bell in ever melodic richness
laughter bubbles from my depths
the strength of my grandmothers echoing there
stories weave through and light from Creator
finds its way in baskets and bags
and jewelry

i love to go out and gather
feeling the cool gift of green strength against my fingers
even the playful stick of Rose as I gather for cleansing...

my digger clinks against rocks as I dig

deep for the fat delicious roots

singing, I give thanks for such bounty

and in singing gathering continues

when it's time to cook together

the kitchen buzzes with energy - we all have our tasks

as though dancing a familiar and beloved step

we flow from one task to the next

laughter echos from one room to the next

and rich homey smells waft towards the outside door

invitation...


fervent belief edged in raucous humor
i've learned from my elders beloved and revered
grandmas and aunties-beautiful, strong and wise
with their lessons learned in quiet pain...
no vain suffering their dance of survival still tickles my feet
and behind them i follow in humble
yearning
will i be like you when i grow up?