Wednesday, August 3, 2016

New days ahead

I haven't been here in forever but I think to myself every now and then "I should blog this." Life is a never ending challenge and each day our choices determine the outcome. Shall I have a good day? A bad day? Shall I prevail over the many obstacles that befall me? I believe so. We're never alone in these battles. All of our energy and all of our emotions are a part of this universe so today, I leave you with this thought: I am in love with life. Every waking moment is filled with love, my family, those I work with, people I meet by chance, these are moments to cherish!!!

Monday, October 1, 2012

first day after september's last

Try to imagine the taste of warmth has overtones of sky and a delicious aftertaste of summer-breeze wheat with a final hopefulness of rain. That's what the first day of October might taste like if you ate it. September as it turns out is a delightfully busy time around here. There's the Pendleton Round Up, weaving conferences, people need help with their regalia so you must sew and weave and bead and the midst of this is grandchildren growing and laughing and crying, painting the house with mud but oh my goodness, with skillfull little hands you notice they actually stayed in the LINES of the house... Grandbabies bring joy...their parents stay connected and though grown, there's still that tiny cuteness pulling even MORE love than you thought possible from the depths of your being. Oh don't get me wrong, difficulties arise but through it all is this golden glow of hopefulness. What do you do though when the hope edges are weakened and weariness dries out the dregs of remaining strength? It does happen, even to the joyful, the beautiful, the royalty and minions. No one lives in THIS dimension eternally bathed in beatific smiles but when I get tired I will dig through my old photos. Reliving delightful memories will ALWAYS bring a smile to my face...oh, I may stumble across one or two that bring tears but I'm grateful for joyous memories and grateful for life. Everyone has challenges. It's best not to bemoan them but to get up, pull up my bootstraps and soldier on. Who will teach my babies to be strong if I'm not!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

So much more than a number...

You've heard it before, "age? oh, that's just a NUMBER! you're ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL!" Of course when someone is saying that, they're busily spinning that wheel in their own mind saying "it's true...yes, of course it's true!!" all the while chuckling in that nervous tone that states clearly for all to hear "please say it's true."

I had a memory today - from the sparkly side of under fifty, I recalled watching my "girlfriend" doing something oh, let's call it, of a self-preserving nature, and I remember thinking to myself "I'll never do that." I later watched this same friend do another thing and talk about more things to which my -49 year old brain instantly shuddered and my -49 nose instantly turned up! My friend is gone now so I can't apologize to her personally, for truly, even though I didn't say a word, I know to the depth of my being that she both heard and understood my repugnance loud and clear. I'm going to say it anyway. I'm sorry Sue. I wish I'd been more understanding and much less condescending.

But the funny thing is? My dear friend was condescending towards me and a few of the others in our tight circle. My friends P. and M. were nearer my age, and she had a few that were closer to hers. On the edges of this circle were my two daughters, at that time about 16-18.

I realized today with that brilliant flash of epiphany that we enjoy so rarely in our lives. Age is so much more than a number.

It's because of age that I can reminisce back to days of my youth now without utter horror and pain, I can look back and say "thank You for the strength gained from those years" and I can honestly share the pure release of actual forgiveness. Funny, really, true forgiveness isn't simply saying "I forgive you" and walking away, you must actually release the wrong doing from your being and consciously release the wrong-doer at the same time. Otherwise, it's just words. This is because of age.

Oh truly, there are some who at an early age learn with clarity some things that I, at 54 am now just beginning to grasp, I welcome their wisdom and appreciate their glow but I've learned to no longer assume that.

I'm now 58 years old. Still holds true. 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Monday, Monday...

Mondays are usually a promising day for, I arrived at my place of work today with several thoughts flitting about in my un-caffeinated brain (neither tea nor coffee had made the break yet). "It's Monday, stay positive" "Thank You for this job!!!" "How can I adjust that budget?" "Better get the notes formulated from the weekend's retreat on..." "wow, I left my desk THAT MESSY?"

Got the coffee now taking a quick break before diving in. Here are a few of the blogs I read on a regular basis:

Your Success Corner

VERY good tips this morning; deal breakers, actually - thank you RENA WILLIAMS

Ugly Overload

This one is NOT so ugly he's cute!!!

One Perfect Bite

Beautiful delicious - and ATTAINABLE recipes!!!

These are just the first three that grabbed me this morning. I'll share more another day.

Because it's Monday and my last week was fraught with meeting after meeting I have a lot of minutiae to catch up with...please pay my friends a visit but I'll have the tea on again tomorrow!!!!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

It's LITERALLY the last day in July, 2012...

I haven't accomplished very many items on my "Summer of 2012" list BUT I've done quite a few things above and beyond...
Weaving is healing and growth to me...the piece here has my version of chokecherries at its base, this is our Huckleberry Feast season and chokecherries are part of any meal at our longhouse table. In the center is the sun Weyatanat...rises each morning with a song and a gentle strand of wisdom in his heat. Finally, to end each meal at our longhouse table we drink our "Choosh" water, we couldn't live without it, we begin and end with water...I love to weave.

We went on a short day trip to Wallowa to help out with the service up at the lake...
 Here are some of the drummers/singers from that day. Strong men with good hearts singing from the depth of their existence. It was a beautiful day.

On our way home we stopped to cool off in the beautiful Wallowa river. The way in was so inviting...then the water was deliciously cold and refreshing!

 After our dip we continued on the road home...after saying thank you for this beautiful place...

On our way home we saw riotous colors and heard the birds was almost TOO beautiful sometimes.

It's been a difficult painful year - sadness returns from time to time but always in my heart I am grateful. I'm grateful to be home, I'm thankful EVERY SINGLE DAY to be home and to be an Indian woman living in centuries old traditions...
 I'm thankful for my sweet Mimqas (means "orange" in Nez Perce) kitty, who although he has the loudest most obnoxious voice you ever heard on a cat, is undyingly faithful and ever hopeful that we are bringing him home something more delightful than he has ever known...he's truly an example to me:-)

and I'm thankful for each new's true what has been said..."Weeping may endure for a night but JOY comes in the morning!"