Friday, June 22, 2012


It's Friday...yes...FRIDAY
I do hope if you're sad, you'll take a break, find something to smile about and have a nice iced tea with an old friend...
I hope if you're homeless that some grateful benefactor grants you a boon and provides for you a soft bed for just one night...
I hope if you're lonely you may take just this one weekend to embrace solitude and enjoy...
I hope if you're joyful you'll take a moment to dance it out and
I hope if you're hopeful your prayers will be answered...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Mimqas goes hippie

ohhhh I hear laughter in the rain...

Sadness surrounds us. Last night I heard a story about a dear friend now married to the sweetest woman and he was randomly assaulted due to alcohol bravado wrapped in pungent stupidity. That made me sad. My precious nephew is in a situation that may follow him for the rest of his days due to ONE bad decision...that makes me sad. I saw a homeless gentleman walking down the street muttering to himself on Tuesday, he looked up and our eyes met. He smiled at me, the most outrageiously sunny smile you could imagine...that made me warm.

On May 22, the Rock of our family, the glue who held us together when none of us could stand the sight of each other, my strong and wise brother D_____ passed away. I'm still sad about this. The pain of not knowing he's over the hills down in the hollow makes me nauseous at times. Knowing I won't see him at THAT machine when I'm at the casino and all these other thoughts that occur when you've lost someone as close as a brother are my ever-present company.

But wisdom is found in unlikely places, a beautiful grandma in a movie once said "if you're sad, cry. but keep going, there's things to be done" so there it is. When I'm sad, I cry.

As trite as it sounds, life DOES go on...
Pictured to the right is another wise tribal elder. One of my OTHER brothers and I thoroughly enjoyed her stories and the amazing sparkle of her eyes...

My little grand-daughter Nellie still needs her snacks:-) and of course, being the kautsa I am, I couldn't just peel the banana and give it to her, I had to artfully slice it, a dollop of whip cream and garnish of love? I mean please. ANYONE can just PEEL a banana!

I still look for my brother in the parking lot. We didn't seek each other out often, but we worked in the same building. In my life, with the intricate weaving of paths and choices, I wasn't reunited with my biological family until I was almost 20. At that time this brother that left us was the first to "take me in" if you will. He contacted me ofen and although I don't recall our visits as being earth-shatteringly amazing, it was such a comfort to now "have someone," for truly, in my adopted family, I knew I didn't belong. My brother gave me away at my wedding in 1981. A few months before he passed he called me up to talk about some tribal politics, questions he had about things and our conversation turned to different projects and work I do. He questioned me at length about these and when we were almost ready to hang up he said "well, you haven't been home very long and you've done so many things. I'm really proud of you Bones (family nickname), I'm just really proud of you..." He's literally the only family member who's said that to me.

On to the business at hand. Literally.\

Something about colors is comforting and brings me joy. I just finished this doily and I was pretty much please as punch with the colors under the candle in the crystal bowl on my coffee table. Something about working with your hands kind of heals those broken places.

More comfort is I have a new friend, she's got the softest beautiful brown eyes you can imagine, her smile lights up an entire room and she's got warmth like no other. What a blessing to find a new friend then my brother tells me we're actually cousins. HELLO:-) Another happy thought? My sister and I are much closer. I should probably call her right now!
Laughter brings healing. Songs bring healing. This is an amazing world, hopefully, if I follow the ways set down by elders upon elders, I'll see my brother again from the OTHER side of the sky. Until then, I hope I'm still making him proud, I hope he knows I'm doing my best to follow the teachings brought out by his sudden passing...take care of your family, show the ones you love by doing, not just saying, walk away from petty gossip and turn away from empty chatter...keep a song in your heart and sing it every night. Look around you and with reckless abandon, embrace the beauty.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

an amusing anecdote...a mnemonic cup of tea if you will...

I've shared this story before, but it came to mind today as I was yawning around at my desk adn I thought "hm, made ME chuckle in the middle of the day..."

Back in the '70's I hitchhiked about a great deal. I often went to places I couldn't even IMAGINE going today and nothing daunted, went wading in with all due social ineptness. While outwardly brave, my inner child was just that. A child.

Often I would find myself stranded on dimly lit, rarely traveled stretches of what usually ended up to be highway 101. I adored the coast, still do, and as often as I found myself stranded, I had many comfortable nights being sung to sleep by Grandmother Ocean. Of course just as often, I'd be awakened by Cousin Rain and mischievous Cousin Wind.

One such night I had wandered down south of Crescent City, CA, not far north of Petaluma (oh believe me, it never failed to amaze me about Petaluma, that was one of Snoopy's end goals).

So here I go, off on an adventure all alone and I end up in the wooded section of highway 101 where when dark falls, there is no streetlights to keep one company, no lingering traveler to possibly stop and pick up a young American Indian hitchhiker who most likely didn't have any shoes on that day. I hunkered down in front of a huge comforting redwood (more often than not, these giants were my comfort and company throughout these years)

The dark began to whisper and I will admit something here: I was then somewhat trepidatious of night sounds...I still am:-) so being alone but with bravado I will only attribute to the strength of that redwood tree I began to sing. I started tremulously and the only song that would come to mind was a silly song of the 70's

"Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad.

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.

Sing, sing a song
Let the world sing along
Sing of love there could be
Sing for you and for me."

I sat in front of that tree and sang this song until I was hoarse and finally fell asleep.

Awakened by the birds in the morning, I got up, stretched and thought to climb the little hill behind the tree to go about my morning oblations. Imagine my surprise when I got to the crest of that little hill (so well hidden by the tree), looked down the other side and what did I see?

AN ENTIRE LITTLE COMMUNITY...yes, a quiet one, no one seemed to even be stirring about yet but I COULD smell coffee wafting joyously towards me.

HOW EMBARRASSING for me, but can you imagine THEM? LOL being serenaded by this young voice from the dark!
This photo has been around but oh my goodness...sometimes it helps to bring clarity to the moment...

Monday, June 18, 2012

small stuff

You've heard it before, "don't sweat the small stuff..." My question to you is this: what entails the property of "small" in terms of the vast quantity we all sludge through and call "stuff?" We all have such differing views of what is small and what is stuff, opposed to what is momentous and what is of dire import! I'll weed out a petty item on my own for now: Work. We're all painfully aware of the varying degrees (lol...pun intended) of pay encountered in just one place of employment. From the receptionist to the CEO all are labeled with a value created by compensation philosophies determined by nameless, faceless and at times seemingly soulless industry driven entities. All too often the talented and brilliant office manager may remain just that because this poor individual never took opportunity by the tail and went to college for that almighty piece of paper, the degree. Without this degree one might receive recognition, accolades, pats on the back but will most likely not rise up among the ranks of one's peers. I digress. Walking into a building, are we met with the CEO? For tribal entities, are the offices of the governing body in the front of the building? No. The first person you'll meet is the front desk receptionist. This person for all intents and purposes prepares you for the rest of your experience in this building. Is she friendly, knowledgeable, did she smile, greet you, look you in the eyes and competently send you to your goal location? Most likely. Why is it then, that the front desk receptionist is usually lowest on the payscale of that organization and lowest in recognition at, for instance, company banquets? Here's my hypothesis: very often the person hired for the position of front desk receptionist entered that position with dreams of one day making herself known for the genius she is then gracefully and grandly making her way to the corner office. When this hasn't happened in a number of years, she begins to lose the gloss on her smile. Her once friendly greeting may become a tattered and embittered "hello, who may I say is calling" and ...wait for it... SHE ENGAGES IN PETTY OFFICE POLITICS TO FORCE HERSELF INTO SOMEONE'S BETTER GRACES. Phew! Now that I've shared this, I actually DO feel somewhat better about a certain co-worker! I realize that it's not a personal vendetta at all, she merely wishes she were afforded the same "perks" as some of those who walk by her daily without even a glance in her direction. Gradually the realization has hit her that she will remain in that position until she does such wondrous feats as attaining her degree in SOMETHING. That seems an insurmountable goal for sometimes it seems the siren call of other expensive pastimes drains her resources. Although I won't pity her, for pity denotes a sense of superiority, I will understand her and smile in the face of the petty darts she tosses my way. Office politics are much better understood when discussed. THANK YOU!!!!!